Often times, children don't really have problems with their stepfather, they problem is usually a marathon race of battling a wicked stepmother. Some children could be so annoying, they may probably think you drove their mother away to take her place, also taking their father away from them too. But trust me, you can be a good stepmother regardless of the attitudes. Here is how to do it ;
Love them:
Just as you love their father, love them too unconditionally. Take them as your own children. If their mother is late, and they children are staying same house with their father, it is your responsibility to show them motherly love and look after them. You wouldn't starve your own child of food, don't starve them and keep them hungry.
Give them space:
There are some children who wouldn't love you at all no matter how you try, regardless of the love you show to them, they can never accept you. Now, this is the right time to give them space. Don't control, bully or force them to love you. Never manipulate them or their father to get their attention. Just give them space.
Never try to take the place of their mother:
Show them motherly love but never try to take the place of their mother in their life. If their mother is alive, let them visit her and spend time with her. In fact they can choose to stay with her. Never force your stepchildren to call you " mummy", it should be willingly.
Never say negative things about their mother:
Children value their mother more than anything even when she no longer stays with their father. They still love her. Never say anything negative about their mother in their presence or to their father to make them feel bad. Never abuse them or call them names. They children are innocent, don't make them feel bad for nothing they know about. If they make you angry, please control your feelings. Never say anything bad about their mother.
Don't be harsh, don't abuse or humiliate them in public.
Get a house maid if you can afford. Don't turn your stepchildren into slave in their own home. Give them house chores of their age, not something bigger than them. If it gets too much and they get tired, get a maid that can help you do some house chores. Letting the children do everything will make them see you as a wicked stepmother.
Have a good relationship with their mother:
Please never hate, it isn't healthy. Don't hate her because of her mistakes, people make mistakes in life. Create and establish a healthy relationship with their mother. Communicate with her, get to know what they children likes and what they don't like. Avoid every evil thought, malice or quarrel for the sake of the children.
Gives their mother support if you can:
Don't create enmity between you, the children, the father and their mother.
Encourage their father to give them quality education:
Most stepmothers because of envy, hatred and jealousy, they make the life of their stepchildren miserable. They manipulate their father and stops him from giving his children quality education. Don't be such a stepmother please.
Don't take their father's heart away from them:
Don't make their father love them less. Let them have a good relationship with their father. Don't say anything really bad about them to their father except for their good. Don't discipline them anyhow or use a cane on them, report them to their mother instead.
Don't make them feel you hate their mother.
Talk to them like friends, get their opinions and work on it for the smooth running of the home. Listen to them, cry when they cry and rejoice when they rejoice. Let their pains be your pains.
Love them:
Just as you love their father, love them too unconditionally. Take them as your own children. If their mother is late, and they children are staying same house with their father, it is your responsibility to show them motherly love and look after them. You wouldn't starve your own child of food, don't starve them and keep them hungry.
Give them space:
There are some children who wouldn't love you at all no matter how you try, regardless of the love you show to them, they can never accept you. Now, this is the right time to give them space. Don't control, bully or force them to love you. Never manipulate them or their father to get their attention. Just give them space.
Never try to take the place of their mother:
Show them motherly love but never try to take the place of their mother in their life. If their mother is alive, let them visit her and spend time with her. In fact they can choose to stay with her. Never force your stepchildren to call you " mummy", it should be willingly.
Never say negative things about their mother:
Children value their mother more than anything even when she no longer stays with their father. They still love her. Never say anything negative about their mother in their presence or to their father to make them feel bad. Never abuse them or call them names. They children are innocent, don't make them feel bad for nothing they know about. If they make you angry, please control your feelings. Never say anything bad about their mother.
Don't be harsh, don't abuse or humiliate them in public.
Get a house maid if you can afford. Don't turn your stepchildren into slave in their own home. Give them house chores of their age, not something bigger than them. If it gets too much and they get tired, get a maid that can help you do some house chores. Letting the children do everything will make them see you as a wicked stepmother.
Have a good relationship with their mother:
Please never hate, it isn't healthy. Don't hate her because of her mistakes, people make mistakes in life. Create and establish a healthy relationship with their mother. Communicate with her, get to know what they children likes and what they don't like. Avoid every evil thought, malice or quarrel for the sake of the children.
Gives their mother support if you can:
Don't create enmity between you, the children, the father and their mother.
Encourage their father to give them quality education:
Most stepmothers because of envy, hatred and jealousy, they make the life of their stepchildren miserable. They manipulate their father and stops him from giving his children quality education. Don't be such a stepmother please.
Don't take their father's heart away from them:
Don't make their father love them less. Let them have a good relationship with their father. Don't say anything really bad about them to their father except for their good. Don't discipline them anyhow or use a cane on them, report them to their mother instead.
Don't make them feel you hate their mother.
Talk to them like friends, get their opinions and work on it for the smooth running of the home. Listen to them, cry when they cry and rejoice when they rejoice. Let their pains be your pains.
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