On Friendship

Building friendship is easier at a younger age than when one is really old. I wished I could go back to my childhood and make friends, I wished I had let go of cages and the walls around me to go make friends. I find it difficult making friends now, like walking up to a girl or a boy and asking them if I could be their friend. I often times look stupid and rejected. Some girls thought I was a lesbian for asking for friendship. I was the one always calling and caring, I got tired and stopped. I had to stay on my own because Friendship can't be one sided. Life without a friend or friends can be so boring and depressing. I had no one to talk to, I had no one to gossip with, I was just one man squad. My father never permitted friends or some familiar people to visit us. During my days in school, I had colleagues, none was my friend, I couldn't even build relationships with people. Everything was just broken. He never allowed us make friends, or travel and we all were in our cages as prisoners. I still remember the day, he flogged my twin sister with a cane just for talking and hugging a guy by the road side. He never cared if we had boyfriends or not. He was strict and overly religious. I missed a lot of opportunities because I was leaving in a cage. He did not allow us travel or leave our state to another state, he never travelled too, he had opportunities of travelling but he always diverted it to someone else. He was always at home to monitor and control us. Of course, I had a mother who never really said a word so she can keep her marriage and make him happy. I know friends are bad but good friends still exist. I had opportunities of leaving them to a man or getting pregnant and starting my family but I never wanted that. That would have been another burden to me. I thank God, I never did anything bad. I took all my frustrations to school by studying hard and having good grades. My books were my friends and my phone too.