Parenting Isn't For Everyone 6

I'm pained today and I am seriously going to write this out of pains. There is what most parents are doing and I seriously don't like it, my father did it to us. Then, I do see my father as a Saint who was without a sin, he pictured himself to be so but I never knew he was worst than a night theft. Some night thieves are good, at least there are merciful. Then my mother do complain about him being an hypocrite, I thought she was just joking and my father can never do such a thing. Until I became conscious of his act. My father was a Pastor and every morning he would stand on the pulpit of the church to preach to his congregations, he would tell them to take care of their wives and children, to be peaceful at home and to love their family yet in the house, my father never gave us peace, he never loved us, everything was a burden to him, even giving us good education, he never really cared about us. He would tell them to go out and work because a beggar is slave yet in his house, he never wanted anyone to work, he wanted to be the only one working and bringing in money but can't stop complaining everyday when money finishes. He would bribe people to get his way, but he never allowed us give anyone money or bribe anybody. I heard a lot of bad things about him which were true, but he was always claiming to be perfect, a perfect father, a perfect worker anywhere he went. He forced his perfectionism on us, we can't make mistakes for fears of the unknown, he may publicly embarrass us or disgrace us. He curses another man for failing to take care of his family, yet his own was bullshit. He was people's idol, people worshipped him for everything, to get anything and he wanted his children to worship him too, to love and respect him when he never gave us the respect we deserved. He never respected his family nor the old man who was his Supervisor. He was a pastor who preached against adultery and fornication yet he never stopped seeing his mistress and sleeping with girls in secret to give them positions he had always promised them. There was a time a lady beat him up in office for deceit. My mother made me knew this, I was shocked the day I heard this because I saw my father as someone who can't do such. A pastor who wanted to marry a second wife. Who knows, he might have children outside and we don't even know. He was always scared of shame but his secret life was filled with shames and deceit. Today, I have problems with Pastors because a lot of them are fake, title holders turning churches into a business place and making a lot of money from ignorant people, getting money from the poor and enriching themselves, building mansions and driving the latest cars. Some while carrying out their responsibilities in church, they neglect their wife, children and family. If a man can not take care of a little thing as a family, he won't be able to take care of a church. I pray they end well but I know a good number of them won't make Heaven. No one is perfect, we try to be self-righteous.

Let your children make mistakes for it is in making mistakes that they would know how to be perfect. In this age, parents are not always right, a child can be right too. Parenting isn't for people who portray the character of Eugene in Chimamanda's Purple Hibiscus. Parenting isn't for overly religious people who claim to be righteous but they are the worst sinners. While in school, my father never took part in any of our school activities, he left everything to my mother and at sometime my mother stopped, I don't blame her, she wasn't learned anyway. School wanted parents who could speak English fluently and they might mock my mother if she couldn't speak well. She didn't really go to school, she left school because her mother died and she had no one to sponsor her in school. Then Reverend Sister would say, "If your parents can't take part in the Parents/Teacher Associations meeting giving excuses for being busy, I am sorry they don't love you." These words from Sister were true. A good parent would want to part of a child's life. My father only knew how to pay bills but paying bills wasn't love.