Marriage can either make or mar you. It can make you purposeless if you dwell so deeply in it. My mother wasted her youthful days and her old age in a marriage she wasn't happy in. She had nothing to show for over twenty five years she spent in marriage. They only achievement she had was birthing four children. They only thing she had was us. My father bought lands and properties with his name, he probably didn't show my mother those documents, so she won't kill him some day and run away with it.
She spent the days of her youth supporting the dreams of a man, who never supported hers. He became something while my mother was a nobody. The woman who stood with him then in a single room apartment. I still remember the names he calls my mother when she tries to correct him. He would call her, " an illiterate " He refused supporting her dreams just as she did to him. He promised her education, just to fail her, giving her peanut to establish a business.
A good husband will give his woman a good education, provide her a job and support her career. Marriage is beautiful, lovely and sweet when you marry a good man. A man with sense. A man who sees his family as first and as well make them his priority. If a man can't be good to his family - wife and children, what good is he?
A bad husband will never support his wife career. He sees a successful woman as a threat to his ego. He will try to bring her down so she wouldn't be greater than him. Some will stop the wife from working, visiting friends, or socializing so he can manipulate her as he likes. I have seen such men. They love to see a woman being helpless and useless. My father was such a man. He never wanted any woman in his house to be greater than him. I think that is why he refused giving my mother education and couldn't take her to public functions so she wouldn't embarrass him with the local language she speaks. He refused us working, even when times got so hard, his ego didn't allow him let us work. He gave us peanut and we survived with it. He was the only one working in the house---The king
We had to beg him money and take permission from him before we did anything. We beg for everything including our happiness. We never had fun. The little money he gave us was for feeding and clothes which he gave only when he was happy. Marriage was hell. I no longer had a home but a house. Happiness was gone. He ruined my mother's life. I don't really blame him because my mother choosed to stay. Uptill today, I can't tell how my mother coped staying with such a man. He was a good man outside. People do praise him and hail him all the time. They even wished to be like him. Only those in his home knew the kind of man he was, his siblings knew, my mother knew and my three siblings knew what he is made off. People never knew who he was.
Now! If you want to know a good man, go to his home. Never border asking the people he gives money to, because they would probably say, he is a good man. Meet his siblings, his mother, his wife, his children and neighbours. They will tell you who he is. You want a good man to marry, go to his home. Most men pretend outside. They are good men outside and tigers in their home.
You want to marry? Make sure you discover yourself and build a name for yourself. Have something doing so no man will treat you like sheet. Because of the way my father treated my mother, people didn't respect her much. He bribe people to get their hearts and favours. He was a good man outside so we couldn't report him to people, why? Because they would never believe us. To them, he was their model - A Perfect Man.
Marriage is a beautiful union designed by God but I wouldn't like to be in it fuelling the ego and low-self esteem of a man. I wouldn't want to feel so useless and helpless. I wouldn't want to be disregarded by people just so that I stay married. I would love an identity of my own. I wouldn't care what the society will say about me. If l die in it, they wouldn't care either.
Most women will say, they are staying with an abusive man because of the kids, just for the kids...for Godsake you are damaging your kids. you are showing them hate and not love. Bad marriage damages a child. It makes them unable to love. They have low-self esteem, feel less of themselves and hardly trust people, they even loose their social life too.
She spent the days of her youth supporting the dreams of a man, who never supported hers. He became something while my mother was a nobody. The woman who stood with him then in a single room apartment. I still remember the names he calls my mother when she tries to correct him. He would call her, " an illiterate " He refused supporting her dreams just as she did to him. He promised her education, just to fail her, giving her peanut to establish a business.
A good husband will give his woman a good education, provide her a job and support her career. Marriage is beautiful, lovely and sweet when you marry a good man. A man with sense. A man who sees his family as first and as well make them his priority. If a man can't be good to his family - wife and children, what good is he?
A bad husband will never support his wife career. He sees a successful woman as a threat to his ego. He will try to bring her down so she wouldn't be greater than him. Some will stop the wife from working, visiting friends, or socializing so he can manipulate her as he likes. I have seen such men. They love to see a woman being helpless and useless. My father was such a man. He never wanted any woman in his house to be greater than him. I think that is why he refused giving my mother education and couldn't take her to public functions so she wouldn't embarrass him with the local language she speaks. He refused us working, even when times got so hard, his ego didn't allow him let us work. He gave us peanut and we survived with it. He was the only one working in the house---The king
We had to beg him money and take permission from him before we did anything. We beg for everything including our happiness. We never had fun. The little money he gave us was for feeding and clothes which he gave only when he was happy. Marriage was hell. I no longer had a home but a house. Happiness was gone. He ruined my mother's life. I don't really blame him because my mother choosed to stay. Uptill today, I can't tell how my mother coped staying with such a man. He was a good man outside. People do praise him and hail him all the time. They even wished to be like him. Only those in his home knew the kind of man he was, his siblings knew, my mother knew and my three siblings knew what he is made off. People never knew who he was.
Now! If you want to know a good man, go to his home. Never border asking the people he gives money to, because they would probably say, he is a good man. Meet his siblings, his mother, his wife, his children and neighbours. They will tell you who he is. You want a good man to marry, go to his home. Most men pretend outside. They are good men outside and tigers in their home.
You want to marry? Make sure you discover yourself and build a name for yourself. Have something doing so no man will treat you like sheet. Because of the way my father treated my mother, people didn't respect her much. He bribe people to get their hearts and favours. He was a good man outside so we couldn't report him to people, why? Because they would never believe us. To them, he was their model - A Perfect Man.
Marriage is a beautiful union designed by God but I wouldn't like to be in it fuelling the ego and low-self esteem of a man. I wouldn't want to feel so useless and helpless. I wouldn't want to be disregarded by people just so that I stay married. I would love an identity of my own. I wouldn't care what the society will say about me. If l die in it, they wouldn't care either.
- Marriage isn't something to rush into. You need to be matured physically, spiritually, emotionally and psychologically. I would prefer a marriage at an older age than at a younger age. Most people regret deeply for spending their youthful days suffering in a man's house rather than enjoy life, have fun, be matured and discover oneself. Dream big, build your future, develop yourself. I would prefer a marriage built on love rather than pity or fear of what they society would say. Marriage should be built on love and happiness. A bad marriage shouldn't be fixed, both should go their separate ways. I remember praying to God to separate my parents marriage after going through alot of unhappiness in the home. I wanted peace, joy and happiness. I wanted God to separate them so everyone can go their separate ways and have a happy ending. If you are in a bad marriage, divorce! You will find love again. Why do people...especially the religious people kill themselves over a bad marriage, raising children in an abusive unhealthy environment. I would prefer a divorce over a bad marriage. I have had my share of it and I seriously won't think it twice.
Most women will say, they are staying with an abusive man because of the kids, just for the kids...for Godsake you are damaging your kids. you are showing them hate and not love. Bad marriage damages a child. It makes them unable to love. They have low-self esteem, feel less of themselves and hardly trust people, they even loose their social life too.
The person you marry will determine how far you will go. Never marry a bad man even if your clock ticks so fast.
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